Friday, November 7, 2008

Our Time

My oldest son is turning 13 in 3 weeks ( I need a minute, that took a lot of me).
13??? 13!!!
How, when, how did this happen?
I mean I know how it happened, I gave birth to him and his father and I have nurtured him and have tried our best to raise a good little human being.

That part I understand.

What I don't understand is how it feels like I just gave birth to him and it feels like Brian and I were just talking about what we thought his name would be and who he would look like.....
Truly it feels like it was yesterday!

But in reality it has been almost 13 years. In that time we have added 2 other little humans to our family and we (Brian and I ) have learned that our hearts truly do live outside of our bodies.

We enjoy family time as much as we can. Friday nights have been working out to be PERFECT! We rent movies, usually something that I have no interest in but I have my husband and my 3 babies snuggled up on the sofa with me, so I'm not complaining :)

The kids get to pick dinner and dessert, tonight Alex picked out Sushi for he and his daddy and Jakob and Hannah decided on Rotisserie chicken, pasta and broccoli. They all chose a chocolate cream Oreo cake. And yes, it tasted as good as it sounded!

I know in the next year or so, Alex is going to want to hang out with his friends more and spending a quiet night at home with us is not going to be top on his list. I'm trying to enjoy these times now while their here an no one is complaining.

Letting your kids grow and go is something that we can't be taught. No one really knows how to explain it or put it into words.
Let me try.....IT SUCKS, better yet, IT REALLY, REALLY SUCKS!
I'm taking baby steps with my kids and I know it is going to keep getting harder as they start to do their own things.

Alex has been my best bud since the very beginning. He was my mall rat, he was my evening stroll buddy, he was my 1st snuggle bunny.

He hasn't started to pull away, yet. And I'm not in as much denial as everyone thinks. The day will come, damn it, I know. I will practice my breathing and my self control and let him pull, well at least a little bit. BABY STEPS PEOPLE, REMEMBER!!

But for now I'm just enjoying our time.......

3 comments:

Denise Grover Swank said...

Heidi, he might not totally pull away. When my oldest son Trace was in the 5th grade we were very close. One day we were sitting together watching his friend play baseball. I told him the day would come that I knew I would embarrass him and he wouldn't want to sit with me and that I would understand when that happened. He told me "Mom I will never be embarrassed by you and will always want to sit by you." He was right. I would show up at his high school and he would see me and yell "Mom!" He liked for me to come and eat lunch with him and his friends-- in high school! He genuinely liked me and so did his friends. I felt very blessed.

So your son might grow up but necessarily away from you. Don't give up hope!

Jesse, James and Lindsey's mom said...

Oh Happy Happy Bday! Hang in there mom! My oldest would be 12 next year and I really wonder how she would be..esp watching how some of her friends have changed over the last 3 years. Your son sounds like a wonderful child!!

PRICELESS MEMORIES said...

You have a teenager! AhHHHHH! Don't worry Alex is already a great kid and you do a great job communicating with your kids.

I can't wait to see your new decor! I will have to come over on Thursday.