Thursday, January 9, 2014

Let me 'splain it to you Lucy

As we get older we start to realize family members traits in ourselves more and more, my children pointed out another one to me the other day.

My grandmother (Lucy) has always loved to tell stories. Stories from the past, stories from her day, whatever it was it was never just a -this is how it went deal- it was always a story. Usually long and usually filled with to much information.

Before finding out that a family member was getting married she would say what she was doing before she answered the phone, how she knew by the tone of their voice that it was going to be good news and everything that person had done in life (good and bad) since the first day she knew them. After about 30 minutes in, I would realize that I have no idea who this person is and that she is now talking about someone else and of course I still don't know who they are. But just for the sake of having to hear WHY I SHOULD know these people I smile and nod and think about what I'm doing with my potatoes for dinner .

Alas, the wedding is this March and the bridesmaids will wear lavender.

And then starts the next story of her friend who got married in March and now I'm on to what I'm cooking tomorrow.

This of course is just a made up version but you get the drift. And if you don't then let me explain it to you, you see my grandmother is an Italian lady who grew up in a large family. She had 3 sisters and 1 brother, all of whom she loved very much, but of course they got on each others nerves as families do, she married my paw paw who came from an even bigger Cajun French family......

Are you baking or frying your chicken tonight?

Sunday, May 13, 2012

Lucky girl

Some days it's not pretty and other days it's just peachy.
Some days I yell more than I want to and
other days I sit and stare at them and wonder how I got so lucky.
Some days I need a break away from the neediness and other days I need them to need me more.



But every day no matter what that day has brought me, I thank god that these 3 are mine!

Happy Mother's Day!


Monday, May 7, 2012

Sooo not about the dishes

I found some, super cute, new dishes at our local Home goods store a few weeks ago. I've been telling myself for awhile that is was time for a change. So I've been on the look out the last few months for some. When I walked into the store that day, I knew my wait was over. I carefully went through all the plates, bowls and smaller salad plates, looking for any dents or dings. Rolled my buggy to the counter, paid, and happily went on my way in life.

Fast forward to last Tuesday or I guess rewind, either way you know what I mean. I brought my oldest to the DMV to take his driver's test so he could get his license. He's had his permit since February of 2011, has gone through the mandatory state requirements and the (even more important) mom and dad requirements and we all felt that he was ready for the next footstep in the sand.

And he is.

But me, not so much.

He passed his test with flying colors, has gotten compliments on his driving from his drivers ed instructor, and the DMV instructor. He is patient when he needs to be and nervous when he needs to be, he does it all right.

But the first time he pulled off in my car with out me in it, to drive himself somewhere that I would not be, I got a little sea sick feeling. I didn't lose my shit, and I was very thankful for that, because we were in a public place and when you look up Ugly Cry in the dictionary, my face is what you would see :)
But sea sick non the less.

I was proud of myself and I celebrated that evening by happily taking my old dishes out and placing the newly washed, super cute, dishes in. I took all the old bowls, plates and smaller plates and made a stack on my counter. As I was stacking and repositioning I had a thought; I would pack these old dishes up and save them for Alex. In two years he would be going to college and this would be one less thing we would need to buy for him.  

And then y'all, I lost my shit.

all

over

the

floor

All I remember was hearing myself mumbling through my snot something about his first steps, pubic hair, a car, leaving me, and then my funeral.

And then I regained my shit and went on with life.

I have found that tears, whether they are ugly or not, are just needed sometimes. At least for me.
For the happy and the sad and sometimes even the in between stuff.

I am SO happy and thankful and blessed that my boy is on such a great path in life.
And am even happier that God chose Brian and I to guide his journey.

But I do oh so wish that I could stretch the path out just a little bit longer.
You know - just so I can have more time to buy new dishes and daydream about my kids growing up and oh ya, lose my shit.....again and again and again.

Tuesday, March 13, 2012

spaghetti bake

Whenever I set out on my evening routine of cooking dinner I know from the moment I start to lay out my ingredients which one of my 3 children will not like whatever it is that will be on the menu that night. And frankly, call me mean, but I usually don't care.
Trying to please all 5 of us at one time is like me trying to squeeze my be-hind back into my teal Bongo jeans from 10th grade....ain't going to happen.

So on the rare occasion that my 3 children all come to the table with a happy face on, with no threat of death or (even worse) punishment from some sort of electronic device before hand, I feel it is my duty to share my wealth of knowledge to every other dinner maker in the world! When you throw my husband into the equation and he too is pleased upon entering the dining room, I feel the need to shout it from the roof tops people!!

Spaghetti and meatballs or meat sauce (depending on how lazy I am feeling) is a staple in our house. I can take 2 and half pounds of either lean ground meat or lean ground turkey breast and make MAGIC happen. With that traditional dish I have added a few more steps that has turned this regular dish into, 'oh yeah this is some good stuff!"

This is how I prepare this dish for my family (I have 2 boys that combined, eat more than most small countries do) so my portions might be larger than what you need. This is not an exact anything, modify as you need to for your family...

the goods.....

2 and half pounds of either lean ground meat or lean ground turkey breast
about 1 to 2 palms full of each: basil, oregano, italian seasonings, minced onion, garlic powder, and Tony Chachere's
2 jars of spaghetti sauce ( I use whatever brand is usually on sale)
2 pounds of penni pasta ( not picky on this either, but I do use whole wheat)
1 bag of mozzarella cheese
about a half of a cup of fresh parmesan cheese

here we go.....

~boil your pasta as directed on package
~brown your meat until cooked all the way through
~after meat is cooked all the way, sprinkle half of your seasonings (put the other half aside) onto      the meat and let cook down for 2-3 minutes
~pour spaghetti sauce on top of meat and sprinkle the rest of the seasoning into the sauce.
~ stir really well, reduce heat, cover and let cook for about 10 minutes.
~Preheat oven to 400
~After pasta is done and drained and after your sauce has cooked down for about 10 minutes, pour pasta into spaghetti sauce and stir well
~If you are using a pan that can be used on the stove top and oven then leave the spaghetti concoction be. If not, pour concoction into a greased oven safe dish.
~Grate your half a cup of fresh parmesan on top of spaghetti concoction and stir really well
~Sprinkle your bag of mozzarella on top, I do not stir this in
~Bake until cheese is bubbly

I serve with garlic bread and a Caesar salad and everyone is happy!

I think what a lot of us need to remember is that dinner (for most of us anyway) doesn't need to be rocket science or something that looks like it could be photographed for a fancy magazine. It needs to be half way recognizable for the little ones and inhale-able for the older ones, at least in my house anyway. And for the ones that don't like it, sorry for you.
There's always tomorrow :)

Happy Cooking!!



Monday, March 12, 2012

simple pleasures

I recently realized while watching my 3 children interact with each other (the tall one telling the girl one that she was telling the hazel eyed one the wrong story) how lucky each of my days with them are. While listening to them, I knew the girl one was going to get her feelings hurt by the tall one and the tall one was going to be aggravated that the girl one was upset (again), all the while the hazel eyed one was going to be like, "mom, what's for dinner?"

Simple pleasures in life.
Simple being the silly arguments and pleasures being the 3 humans god has in trusted to me.

In the last few months I've done a lot of reevaluation's in my life. And in the process I've tried to do a lot of listening.
Listening to myself is hard for me.
I try and talk myself out of things or into things. All the while knowing that I just need to breathe and listen, and the right way will be shown to me.

So I have.

The good, the bad and the not so tasty morsels that I, somewhere along the way, have manged to bury inside me, I've allowed them back to the party.

I decided to listen to myself the same way I would with my children. Not judging right from the start and letting my thoughts and words marinade for awhile.

Another simple pleasure.
Simple being me, always trying to be my own worse enemy and pleasure realizing that I'm really just getting to old for that shit.



Thursday, October 13, 2011

the day I became another statistic

If I thought that anyone out there really cared about why I have allowed my blog to grow cob webs, my explanation would start with.....here's a little ditty about a woman who needs 5 more hours in a day. And you (all being crazy busy people yourself) would say yeah yeah welcome to the club lady, the line starts back --------------->there.

So instead of bitching about how blessed I am to have such an active and full life, I'm going to tell you how I have gotten it (semi) under control. When I say control, I mean me, as in me not feeling like I'm losing the last few shreds of nerves, patience, sanity and non gray hairs that I have left. This doesn't mean that I'm going to blog regularly again, or become Paula Dean in a smaller body. What it does mean though is that I have noticed in the last 2 years that I am not myself. And I want me back.

It started off very slow and gradually over time has gotten worse. On the outside most people don't notice. I still act, love and pray the same most of the time. But things that have never stressed me out were starting to bother me.
More and more.
Bit by bit.
I've been home with 3 kids all under the age of 6 before, a husband traveling constantly and a bank account that left any entertainment up to my imagination. That was no sweat.

As my kids have gotten older certain things have gotten easier and some things have gotten more deliberate. That's to be expected. When I added college student to my repertoire of things to do in a day, I think I threw myself into an unhealthy cycle that (at times) had me feeling like I was drowning. It took me a while but I sent out an SOS call and got some help. My kids and husband are awesome people, so I think that it was even that much harder for me to vocalize certain feelings, because I know it could be so much worse.
But I did speak up and what I learned is
I can't do it all.
There I said it, dammit.
I want to do it all.
I want to be an awesome mother, wife, friend, daughter, sister, neighbor, scholar, citizen, Catholic, you name it and I want it. I'm realizing that by trying to be it all, I was slowly loosing me.
And-well-I like me, and I decided to get me back.

Through talking with my husband, children, friends and doctor; I've come to terms with-dusty baseboards are ok, not being at everything at my kids schools is ok and sandwiches 2 times a week isn't going to kill anyone. I believe that I am now on a path to less anxiety and more of a path that appreciates achievements. It doesn't mean that my life has gotten any less crazy, but it does mean that I am choosing to
stop
breathe
and decide
what I'm going to do, instead of just reacting.

And awesome or not, I'm still going to be me.

And that feels pretty good.





Thursday, August 18, 2011

Peace, love and back roads

On my quest for better physical fitness (aka: torturing myself) this year, I also decided to try and set my brain and spirit up for a little spiritual boot camp challenge. Letting go - or at least trying to - of silly miscellaneous things in life that sometimes weigh us down for no reason other than because it can. Some days I feel like my tank is on E and I'm on the back roads with no Shell stations in sight. And other days I find my center and everything in the world is right. I know it sounds all Gandhi like, but trying to get to a place in your head that you can find peace and clarity (even if for only a few minutes a day) is a huge task. And once your able to find it, you realize how much you have been starving for it and crave it in your life.

Awhile back as I was out on a long run (see above aka: for details) I started to have a feeling of warmth come over me. Of course it's summer in the South so I was sweating like a pig and 5 shades of blood red, but it wasn't that kind of warmth. It was a different feeling all on it's own. After I realized that I was not having a heat stroke and the baby Jesus was not coming to take me away, I started to embrace the different feeling. I had come to a point in my run where my body and mind were working together, as opposed to every other run where the battle in my brain always short changes my body. Early that day, I tried to reflect on the pains that my body was battling with, the bruised toe nails that apparently I'm going to have to learn to love, and the voice in me that always screws with me when I get to the bottom of another hill. On that day, just that day, I had beat the voice. Each day after, has brought it's own share of conflicts and moments where I wish that warmth would come back over me. Sometimes it does and other times I'm to distracted to even notice.

I joined a local gym recently and have embraced the work out classes they offer. A few years back a friend and I started yoga. We would laugh and cut up and have a good ole time but never really took it seriously. I wanted to go into the class this time with a fresh outlook and really try to take it seriously. I'm so glad that I did. I need the peace and quiet a few times a week all the while while having an amazing workout at the same time. As I feel my body getting stronger, I feel my mind at ease. And believe me, with some of the bat shit crazies I deal with in a day I'm thankful for the relief. I know that comment wasn't very nice but I did start this off by saying that I was TRYING......and I am. But just like everything else I've ever done I'm taking the scenic route to get there.