When you send your first child off to college (after the year long of panic attacks, tears, weird dreams that don't mean anything BUT WHAT IF subconsciously, in the land of Oz, on a rocket ship they mean something - one day??) there are so many emotions that are wrapped up inside of each parent. Excitement, pride, fear, worry and these are only the ones I felt on the elevator ride up to his dorm.
The feeling of leaving your first baby at school (at least for me) was like leaving one of my limbs in that dorm room on that hot August day. I left the UGA campus without my whole self. Sounds a little dramatic but it's a dramatic thing. Just a short 18 years before this day this little helpless creature was placed in my arms and I knew from that day forward I would lay down my life to keep him happy and warm, always with a belly full and always safe. That part of my everyday life was (sort of) over with him. I remember waking up in the middle of the night franticly thinking have I told him everything he needs to know?? Does he know not to stick a fork in the toaster while it's plugged in? I mean yes he drives a car and can vote for the president and fight for our wonderful country and technically in some places is considered an (ahem) adult, but seriously does he know about the fork and toaster scenario?
There's always "just one more thing" to tell them each day and "just one more" I love you and "just one more" make sure you watch to see if anyone is walking behind you to kill you; you know all the normal stuff we tell our college kids and of course "just always one more" chance to second guess ourselves as parents.
I can happily say that he is in his 4th semester of school (now living in an apartment) and has not electrocuted himself or anyone else and from all accounts is a pretty awesome, functioning 20 year old living college life.
Doesn't mean I don't worry every.blessed.day but worry is just another form of love. And now with my number 2 child starting his senior year in a few months, I get to start the process all over again. I'm hoping it's like riding a bike, you how it gets easier and less stressful the more you do it?
Oh and "just one more thing" I don't believe a word of that either :)