Raw and Open

When my husband came home in March of 2005 and asked me what I thought about moving to Georgia, I told him, thanks but no thanks. After more discussion, I realized it would be a great opportunity for our whole family. It was a great move for us and we have been very happy.

There are times when I get homesick and usually talking to one of my parents helps me through the tough times. They always encourage me in my decisions and when ever I have mentioned moving not being a good idea, they reassure me that it really was a GREAT IDEA!

One of the hardest things about being 8 hours away, is not being able to be there, when something happens. At the beginning of the year when my grandfather got really sick, I pretty much dropped everything and raced to Louisiana as fast as "THE BEAST" would take me. Brian was very supportive of me driving back by myself, so that I could be with my daddy. He knew that I needed to be there. It was a crazy week but it was what I needed to do.

Today at work reality hit me once again.
An assistant like me (Heather), that I'm friends with, has had her mother in the hospital for about 6 weeks. Her momma is in Savannah, Georgia about 4 hours away. There have been ups and downs. On Monday she was a lot more optimistic after her weekend visit with her mother.
Today Heather's husband had to come and get her, because her father called and said the doctor's aren't giving her mother much time. From this morning her mother had taken a severe turn for the worst. We all watched and was able to nothing for one of our dear sweet friends. I can't even imagine her thoughts as she tries to race to her mothers side, just to say good bye.

The past few days the kids and I have been talking about Christmas and what were going to do. Since we have moved, we have always stayed in Georgia. I always wanted my kids to wake up in their own houses for Christmas. Yesterday Alex and I were talking about it again and he said, momma, do you want to wake up at our house on Christmas? And I said yes, I do. He said because it's really not a big deal to me. I think we should be with paw paw this year. (Have I told you all in the last few hours how my kids are my light, my truth and my world?) He knows that this year, is going to be hard on my dad since this will be the first Christmas without my grandfather. I told my dear sweet boy, that Brian and I would talk about it and we will see.

Today as I watched my sweet friend prepare herself for her mother's death, I thought to myself, how dare I not go RUNNING home for Christmas?!

My emotions are so raw and open right now, I don't know what to do. Were going in, in 9 days for Hannah's nanny's baby shower.
I know if my parents could, they would come in for the holidays. Louisiana's weather really doesn't put you in the holiday spirit and my parents love it up here. But they just aren't able to travel as much as they would like to.

So we might be starting a new tradition and it's called, GO WHERE YOUR HEART LEADS YOU.
And right now my heart is leading me to a corner lot house in Mandeville, Louisiana.......