A Mean Mother....

Years ago my momma and I went to this HUGE craft fair (Louisiana people, remember the one in the Pontratrain Center?). We seriously walked around for what felt like HOURS, I'm not really a Craft Fair person. I have enough of my own crap and don't really need any doily napkins made to look like a smiling animal.



But I went because, well honestly if my mother would of asked me to donate platelets with her at that time, I would of.
Alex was about 15 months old (SIGH....the days when it was just me and my boy taking on the world and all the smiling doily people.....BIG SIGH those were the days) I was the ripe ole age of 21. At that time in my life I was trying desperately to be the daughter that I had not been for most of my teenage years, I was trying to make my mother my friend.....



All of my teenage years (13 - until) were spent trying to stay away from my parents as much as they would let me. I didn't like them and I was ABSOLUTELY POSITIVE that they didn't like me, because you know when your a teenager, you just happened to gain all the knowledge in the world!!

2 months after I turned 18 I left my parents house in a very mature way, I moved out because they didn't want me to not stay out during the week until 5 AM.....THE HORROR!

For years I would tell myself how much better I would be, if I didn't have to deal with HER (her being my mother) I never really blamed my daddy for anything it was always HER.
You know the HER who almost died giving birth to me, the same Her that sacrificed everything in her young life for me, she was evil and I knew that because I had being given all the knowledge....REMEMBER!

After I had Alex, I wanted a better relationship with HER and I thought that my mother and I would instantly have this fairy tale life together. Which would include us holding hands, skipping through the mall together and maybe even singing a little Kumbaya completely in sync of course.

Really I didn't know what I wanted, I just knew that I wanted, needed my mother.

Nothing of what I thought would happen, happened.


Back to my original story.....

While we were at the Craft Fair there was a woman selling this cards that had all kinds of different sayings on them.

One of them was titled " A Mean Mother".

It was all about the MEAN, MEAN things that mothers make us do. Like learn how to take care of ourselves, eat our vegetables, you know HORRIBLE things. I admired it for awhile but didn't buy it because I had already bought Alex 2 little wooden cars and didn't have any more money. (did I ever tell you guys that WE WERE POOOOR back in the day)

That evening as we were leaving the Craft Fair my mom hands me this little bag and she has a smile on her face. She tells me to read it and not to forget what it says. Inside the bag was the card that I had been admiring and also another one about daughters, I was so happy to have them. I framed them both, the daughter one I put in my room and the other became a staple on my cabinet in my kitchen.

It took me a few more years to understand that I couldn't make my mother my friend, because well honestly, she's not. I will always be her daughter and she will always be the SUPERIOR BEING that gave birth to me!!

In the last 5 years we have developed a relationship that I thank the Blessed Mother for everyday....

As soon as I realized that she is who she is and that it's not always about me (in other words, I grew up), things started to change.

My mother and I are very different but also very similar people. She is a very relaxed person who doesn't talk a lot. And then there's me, you know the person that loves to GO GO GO and would talk to the tree if I had to....
We are both very strong people and both are good at keeping it together in any situation.

One thing I know for sure is, we are mother and daughter.
And if I had to go through all the crazy years again just to be where we are today, I would do it in a heartbeat......

A girl that I work with at the preschool just recently lost her mother and another girl that I work withs mother just became really ill, really fast and there's a chance she might lose her.

The thought of not having my mother and father with me everyday is something I can't even imagine (and don't want to imagine), I know as adults it's something that we all will have to deal with.

But for now, I would just like to honor my "mean" mother and father.

Thank you momma and daddy, (you are the wind beneath my wings, you know I had to throw a joke in there somewhere:)

I love you both so much and hope you know that I strive to be just as "mean" as you are.

Love,
Your daughter