What exactly is it about a bathing suit that makes a woman in mid March break out into a cold sweat. Or the pains of agony that we feel when we step into a dressing room armed with 14 tops 27 bottoms and a bottle of Jack Daniels (I can't be the only one :)
For a long time I never really worried about swim suits, I had a few that I had had for a few years and they always seemed to fit. Well then one year they didn't fit, they didn't even pretend like they could fit. The only reason I know that they did fit is because I had evidence pictures, because once upon a time I allowed photos of myself in a bathing suit (and I wasn't even intoxicated).
Last year I introduced myself to the tankini skirtini. Or in other words, the don't look at any of my parts but I'm too lazy to by a one piece (have you tried to get one of those things back up after a potty break? It isn't pretty!)
I had 1tankini thing last year, that I loved and I wore it EVERY single day.
This year I have actually lost a bit of weight and been working on my flags to flap a little less. So I thought trying on bathing suits this year might not be so bad.
Silly silly woman, lets just say there were screams, tears and even a little bit of praying the Hail Mary's and all of this happened before I even entered the dressing room.
Round 1 was a disaster and I came home totally defeated and told Brian that if they served sedatives as we were entering the dressing rooms it would be so much easier.
Round 2 went so much better, I actually found items that I really liked and a few pieces that when I get a little drunk braver I might actually wear.
At heart I am TOTALLY a bikini girl!
No strings, glitter or jewels.
Just a little less tan lines gal.
I'm also 33 year olds and not nearly as cute as I once was :)
Do you think there is an appropriate age for styles of bathing suits?
I wore my bikini top today with my skirtini bottom and didn't feel all that bad about it. I also was there with my 2 girlfriends and it was the time of day that there weren't alot of people there, my momma didn't raise no fool! And did I mention I didn't move or breathe or eat, I just laid there motion less as so nothing jiggled or fell out of place.
I'm joking of course but no not really.
Sad I know, Hail Mary's and Jack Daniels, what'cha gonna do?!!
2 comments:
Ha! Funny stuff!
Last year during our family beach vacation I mistakenly left the camera where Hubbs could find it while we were on the beach playing. Later that day I was reviewing the pics from the day and asked whose big behind he had taken pics of on the beach. It was me!!! Obviously I deleted the pics.
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