Monday, August 17, 2009

Tropical Storm Heidi (for my dad)

As I'm sitting here typing this, it sort of feels like the calm before the storm. I hate to use those terms but I don't know how else to describe it.

Tomorrow is the day. The day that should of come 16 years ago but it didn't . I chose a different path. I chose not to give my parents the "first day of college" experience with their daughter. My head is pounding and I haven't been able to figure out if it's my nerves or a little disappointment in myself.

I know I know, but I'm doing it now. And that is really good and all but I REALLY want to share certain moments with my momma and daddy and can't. There in Louisiana, I'm in Georgia and that's that. I will be 34 years old next week and am very proud to say, that sometimes I still need my parents. Don't know why, I just do. I'm not even really sure if they realize how much of a big deal this is, there very calm, cool and collective people :). (Sigh) and then there's me, emotional, not calm or even a bit cool and you can forget about collective.

Tomorrow I'm turning a new page, a page that is scary because I've never read it before. I know by turning the page, that lots of insecurities will surface. I also know that with that lots of other parts of me will bloom.

My name is Heidi Johnson and I'm a 33 (almost 34) year college student, HEAR ME ROAR!!


Carey-Life in the Carpool Lane said...

Turn the page! I can't wait to hear your story...I bet it has a very happy ending!

The Campbells said...

You go girl! Just imagine how proud they will be at your graduation. Get your kids to take your picture on your first day!


Yeah for you! So excited for your new journey and I know you will do great! Go Get em'


Denise said...

Don't you dare think for a minute that you can't do this! You most certainly can!

You know, I have major regrets about college too. I didn't go right out of high school (well other than I got an 8th semester release from HS to go to the local community college) I wish I had gone but for quite a few reasons I didn't. I've gone to college for over 20 years, taking one class at a time sometimes. Sometimes the timing sucks,but it is what it is. You're going NOW. That's what counts.

Elizabeth said...

Oh honey. This is so well put.

You didn't miss anything.

Heck, it took me forever to get my little old degree because I decided to get married along the way!

OK, well, here's a little of what you missed:

Dorm food (ew)

Frat guys (double ew)

Athlete's foot from the dorm showers (need I say ew?)

roommates who entertain (ew) on the first night you're living together (ew) which happens to be the first day of school (hurl)

roommate drama period

homesickness (been there, done that, right?)

learning time management the hard way (you already got this down MOMMA!)

driving a college car (Mine stalled every time it turned left)

You are going to do fantastic. When it gets tough, break it into little pieces. When it gets rough, email me. When you graduate, I'll be throwing a cap in the air in your honor.

I am so proud to "know" you and to see you fly. This is the start of something big!