Out of all the hundreds upon millions of conversations I have had with my kids, I wasn't ready for a conversation I had with my oldest child this past weekend. Actually it was my response to something that shocked me. I was shocked that I was OK with the whole thing.......
None of my children have ever said to me any of the little mean tid bits that kids sometimes say. You know like, "mommy your mean, I don't like you anymore, or your not my friend." You know one of those little jewels that kids throw out there sometimes. I don't know why they never tried it, but thankfully they haven't.
So the other day Alex and I were having a conversation about something that I wasn't letting him do. And as our talk was going on, I could see it in his eyes at that very moment, he didn't like me at all! He was pleading his case and not liking my answer.
After our discussion was finished, I told him, I know you don't like me right now. But you will always respect me. I'm not here to be your friend. I'm here to be your mother. The only one you will ever have. I'm your biggest cheerleader and your gate keeper. Your best interest is the only thing I think about and one day it will all make sense.
But just know that whatever your thinking, I've thought it before. And whatever you think you know, I've thought that too. Our relationship is a 2 way street. I'm always open to your thoughts and your opinions but at the end of the day, I'm still your momma.
I left him with a hug and a kiss on the top of the head.
Later that evening, I asked him how he was feeling. His eyes had changed back to their natural beautiful blue and the red lazar beams he was shooting me earlier had faded away.
He said he was fine and that he was hungry (now that's my boy:)!
After school one day later, he asked me why did I think he didn't like me the other day. And I said well your eyes said it all. But mom I would never say that to you. You didn't have to say it son. And it was OK, those were your feelings, for that moment and then we moved on.
Every feeling should be validated. And you get to decide how that feeling made you feel. Have you ever noticed people that are grumpy and moody are always tried. It takes a lot of energy to be miserable. If you want to be that way well God Bless, but I would rather put my energy into be thankful.
I'm thankful for you and your grumpy eyes and every other thing that God has given me.
I'm thankful too mom for you and I'm sorry.
It was sincere and real.
And that my friends, is what it's all about :)