Last week I attended yet another meeting about my up and coming freshman. I really believe they hold quite a few of these meetings so that the women who are in denial (like me) can slowly come to terms with the fact that their babies are indeed starting high school (anyone have a paper bag? Deep breaths). On my best day, I'm a semi half intelligent woman, so you would think that mistakenly giving my 14 year old his father's boxers and socks on a regular basis would have been the real turning point for me. But no, not me, I just think to myself, the boy has really big feet for his age. He just takes after me and is going to be tall! That's it, that's the reason why he wears men sizes and has a squeak in his voice every now and again. It has nothing to do with the fact that he is growing up, nope not one single piece.
And then I go to this meeting, and it's all about Alex's honors classes and what each college is looking for. And how the next four years will fly by. And how making them understand how important each and every day is towards their college careers. And once again, it's going to fly by. In between each piece of important information I received that night, I kept thinking about his very first day of school. The first day I dropped him off and how much of an emotional wreck I was on the inside and how good he was that day. He started Pre- K 4 just as he has every other grade since that first day, a very confident little boy. I was so excited for him when he went to school, yet so filled with the need to be with him. We had never spent 7 hours in a day apart. That was the hardest part for me. Not ALWAYS being there.
So as I look forward on the next four years, I know that my chipmunk cheeked little boy, will look and sound more and more like a man. But in my heart he will always be that little boy that let go of my hand on that hot and humid August morning turned to me with his crooked smile and apple name tag attached proudly to his uniform shirt and said, bye mom see you in a bit." He turned into his class room and I picked up the pieces of my broken heart, my box of kleenex and my 1 year old and walked back to my car.
I don't look at time as flying by anymore, more like soaring through future memories